Not trying to be an accurate guide (do not think there one) but are experiences that worked for me.
And thanks to these experiences I have had the pleasure of being invited to speak at conferences over 1000 people.
The first thing to understand is that it does not work for everyone, but for most yes.
With this, as always, I try to be realistic and do do not get your false delusions.
For some people it is sufficient motivation to meet all its objectives. For others only serve to realize their reality and use it as an excuse for not taking action and continue their lives.
But it is an exercise we should do all us, to be clear about where we are and where we want to go.
It is very important to recognize in first place where and how we stand.
We can not change our past but our future is not yet written and this is the process about we goes to starting working today.
Remember that: The losers look for excuses, the successful people are looking for solutions.
Is well to say, that if one does not know where he to go, never will know if it arrived. Pathetic but true.
First we need to understand a couple of things, human beings, we often lie to ourselves to feel good, it’s like a defense mechanism, but even if we are in a room alone with no chance of someone to listen, alone with our thoughts, we disguise the reality of our memories, skills or attitudes to feel better. I am not saying that this is bad because in some cases maybe it may cause us to be continually depressed, but when we do an evaluation is better to be open and honest to identify our weaknesses and work on them to improve them.
“We dare not many things because are difficult, but they are hard, because we do not dare do it “
Seneca (Philosopher and writer)
Successful people know where to go.
Well, another thing to understand is that it is better to put things in black and white, written, to better visualize all points.
To accomplish a goal is important to consider intermediate goals that will facilitate the way.
It should start with achievable goals and go up the level of exigency.
Best of all is that the goals help us to have energy, optimism and hope.
The first thing we have to write are all our desires, what we want to be, have or share.
At this stage do not repress yourself, write all as crazy as it may seem for you, later it will be time to filter it.
To be: Better people, pro-active, less funky, more winnowed … etc, etc, etc.
Have: A car, a house, a great salary, a dog, a smartphone, etc., etc., etc.
Shared: Travel, be better father, husband, etc., etc., etc.
Do not worry if you grouped all in the right place, it is not important, what matters is express all your desires.
What follows is defining them.
This is important to define the desires, such as when you ask how much money a person wants have, the regularly answer is “a lot” or “enough” but that are not a parameter valid because it varies enormously, between people and situations. What is actually much money? If you are in a very dangerous area where it really is at risk your life and the cost of transportation to get out from there is only 10 cents, but we do not have them, your life becomes worth 10 cents, at that particular time is much money. On the other hand according to the situation you are, you will can change your perspective about money, so for some can be U$ 5,000.- for other 10,000 or for other million. In short you can define
this if you firmly believe that you can achieve, so it is important to first define it, to, if necessary, to adjust after your expectations.
Let’s look at a specific example:
“I want a car” year model, Toyota four doors, standard, air conditioner, leather seats, digital dashboard, yellow, with sun roof, power windows, alarm with automatic locking, black color upholstery, of leather, market value U$ 35,000.-, hooopsss .. best a used model … Let us make a small change … Year model Used. Market value U$ 35,000.- U$ 18,000.-
If you can not describe it in detail and/or doubt, you need throw it away, do not waste your time, what you can describe is what is most important to you and what you can achieve.
Goals should be specific and realistic.
The goals are personal. You must think of you and only you to define them, we will have time to then analyze the consequences they may have with others. You must not involve anyone in this.
Remember that “There is nothing sadder than to err by the decision of another.” If you go to fail, is best if it’s for your own decisions.
Let’s finish here the first part, it is very important that you do the exercises discussed, before proceeding with the second part.